Hello, My Name is Officer Sasuke
by Itachi's Husband
Summary: It's Itachi's first day of summer break, and all he wants to do is sleep in and relax for the rest of the day. He's on track to do just that when he finds himself under arrest at the hands of Officer Sasuke!
1. Chapter 1: Charges of Neglect

**Author's Note:** For those of you who don't know, my name is Sasori33-001; I used to go by the pen-name of Itachi012110 but due to a conflict of creative differences between the co-author of the account and myself, I no longer have the information necessary to log-in and continue writing under said alias. Thus, Sasori33-001 was reborn!

I guess you can call this story the 3rd installment of a series started under my old pen-name (Itachi012110), the first of the series being titled, "Hello, My Name is Doctor Sasuke," (completed), the 2nd being titled "The Name's Uchiha, Sasuke Uchiha," (incomplete), and then this one being the third installment.

If you were a fan of my old pen-name, welcome back and here's to the long awaited continuation of the "Hello My Name is..." series! *cheers*

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. Masashi Kishimoto is the rightful owner.

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After a long, grueling semester of hard work, all-nighters, study sessions, cram study sessions, last minute studying, and what felt like a month of finals, Itachi was beat. Thankful for three months of relaxation and a little bit of work here and there, he took the opportunity to sleep in the first chance he got.

Boy did it feel good to sleep without setting an alarm, waking up naturally and not having to worry about studying some more…

"ITACHI UCHIHA, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!" A young Sasuke yelled, kicking open the door to Itachi's bedroom so hard that it the doorknob rebounded against the wall and almost hit Sasuke in the face.

Immediately Itachi sat up in bed, concerned that something was wrong. "Sasuke, what's wrong?" He asked wearily, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"Put your hands in the air, you're under arrest."

Itachi glanced at the clock and squinted to make out the time. 6:58 a.m. Itachi groaned and fell back on the bed. "Sasuke, can we do this later on? I wanted to sleep in today."

"I said, put your hands in the air, you're under arrest!" Sasuke repeated, marching over to the bed. When Itachi didn't respond, Sasuke repeated himself even louder than before. "I SAID, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, BIG BROTHER"

Itachi opened his tired eyes to a steaming Sasuke and closed them again. _In what world does one get arrested by their own younger brother?_ He wondered. With a sigh of resignation, Itachi lifted himself out of bed and raised his arms in the air. Why did he think that Sasuke'd allow him to sleep in on the first day of summer break? How could he have been so stupid? "What am I under arrest for, Sasuke?"

"The name's _Officer_ Sasuke, and you have the right to remain silent." He said, pulling out a pair of metallic hand cuffs from his shorts pocket.

Itachi sighed. _He's going all out._

"I SAID YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" He shouted and gestured for Itachi to turn around so he could pin his hands behind his back to cuff him. "You're under arrest for mistreating your younger brother, Sasuke Uchiha."

"Mistreating? How have I mistreated you, Sasuke?" Itachi asked over his shoulder as best as he could while Sasuke was adjusting the handcuffs.

"You have the right to reh-main sillint. Anything you say can…and will…be used…against you in…a curt of lau. You have the right to speak to a lau-yer and have him pre-sent…with you while you are being cue-est-eon-duh…questioned!"

Itachi snuck a peek over his shoulder once more to see how Sasuke was going about this. In his hands, he held a card titled "Miranda Warning," one Itachi recognized as belonging to their father at one point or another. _He must have found it lying around somewhere_ , Itachi thought with a smile.

"If you can-not aff…ord…afford…to here a lau-yer, one will be ah…pp…point…ted…appointed to…rep-re-sent you before any cue-questioning if you wish."

It took all of Itachi's willpower to refrain from laughing at his brother's feeble attempt to correctly read and pronounce everything written on the little white card. He had to give him props, though. He was going a pretty good job so far.

Sasuke inhaled and exhaled heavily, clearly frustrated with having to read everything on the card before he could arrest Itachi. "You can dess-i-dee at any time to ex-er-ceese these rights and…not an-swur any ke-questions or make any state-ments." He paused. "Itachi?"

Itachi glanced behind him, afraid that if he said anything, Sasuke would yell at him again.

"How do you pronounce this word?" He asked and showed it to Itachi.

"Waiver." He answered. _I've never heard an officer ask a convicted felon how to pronounce the words written under the Miranda rights before._

"Waiver. Do you understand each of these rights I have ex-plain-ed to you? Having…these rights in mind, do you wish to talk to us now?" He asked.

"How did I mistreat you?" Itachi asked, curious to know what he did wrong in Sasuke's eyes.

Sasuke finished handcuffing him, securing the restraints tightly against Itachi's wrists and puffed out his cheeks. "You said told me that you'd play with me yesterday and you didn't!"

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Yes, I did, but you have to understand, Sasuke, I was extremely tired yesterday. Do you really want me to play with you when I'm yawning the whole time and can't keep my eyes open?" He asked him.

Sasuke held up a hand to silence him. "Enough. You can explain yourself in court. Now, come with me." He said.

Still clad in his pajamas, Itachi followed Sasuke downstairs and past the kitchen where their mother was preparing breakfast.

"Good morning boys!" She greeted.

"Good morning mom!" Sasuke called back.

Itachi remained silent.

When she didn't hear a response from her eldest she turned around to see that the two had disappeared. Setting down the pancake batter she was about to pour into the pan, she ventured out of the kitchen and into the living room to greet Itachi good morning.

"Good morning Itachi." She said, peering around the corner of the doorway. Her smile faded when she noticed the handcuffs binding Itachi's wrists. "Oh. Did you get in trouble with the law, Itachi?"

"Ma'am," Sasuke said, straightening his shorts like he'd seen Fugaku's co-workers do before, "I'm afraid that your son has been placed under arrest for the mistreatment of his younger brother."

Mikoto attempted to stifle her laughter in the face of her youngest son, her future police officer. "Oh my. Is that so?"

"Yes, ma'am." Sasuke replied. "He's now awaiting trial in court."

Itachi's eyes widened. _Trial in court? This could take forever._ He thought. At this rate, he'd pass out at 7 o'clock p.m. that night if he didn't sleep before then.

"Who's the judge?" Mikoto asked him. Sasuke pointed directly at her. "Me? I'm the judge?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yes." He said and turned to face Itachi. "Do you have a lawyer?" He asked.

"No…?" He said. He didn't know he'd need a lawyer.

"Then I'll give you a lawyer." Sasuke said. "Until then, you need to wait for your court date."

"Which is when?" Itachi asked him.

At this, Sasuke blanked and ran off into the kitchen where their mother had gone back to making breakfast. "Mom!" He said, tugging on her dress.

"Yes, Sasuke?" She asked.

"What time is it?"

Mikoto turned around to glance at the clock on the wall. "It is 7:23, Sasuke."

"What time is Naruto coming over?" He asked her.

"He'll be over around 12 o'clock this afternoon."

Content with her answer, Sasuke shouted a quick "Thank you!" to Mikoto and sprinted into the living room where Itachi was resting against the back of the couch with his eyes closed. "You're due in court at 12:30 a.m. today."

Itachi sat up straight. "12:30 a.m.!?" He asked.

"I meant 12:30 p.m.!" He corrected himself.

Itachi breathed a sigh of relief. When he inhaled, he breathed in the pleasant aroma of pancakes and maple syrup. "Do I at least get to eat breakfast and lunch before then?"

Sasuke pursed his lips in consideration. "Breakfast, yes. But in order to eat lunch, you have to be on your best behavior, got it?"

Itachi nodded. "Got it." He said and rose to his feet.

"You're not going anywhere without me!" Sasuke yelled, halting Itachi's movements. It wasn't until Sasuke grabbed Itachi's elbow that the two walked in the direction of the kitchen. "If I let you leave my sight, who knows what other laws you'll break." He muttered.

As cute as this was, Itachi wondered how long he'd last before he passed out on the couch awaiting his trial. In addition to that, he had no idea who his lawyer was, but if he overheard Sasuke and his mother correctly, he assumed that his lawyer would be a distracted blonde-ball of endless energy…

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Sasuke was such a joy when he was little...

Stay tuned for chapter 2! (which is not yet written, but will hopefully be posted sometime within the next week!)

I encourage you all to read "Hello My Name is Doctor Sasuke" under my old pen-name (Itachi012110) along with the other stories under that name, as well as some of my current stories.

And REVIEW! For the love of Gaara, reviews are what fuel me and push me to update sooner! (They also make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside)

Until next time~

Sasori33-001 (a.k.a. Itachi012110)


	2. Chapter 2: Court Proceedings

**To be honest, I was _not_ planning to update this story tonight. I have a lot of other things that I could be doing but I got a review from Yamora Love n Friendship that said something that I didn't remember being in the first chapter so I had to go back to the first chapter and reread it and at that point I thought to myself "what the hell" and cranked out chapter two. I apologize in advance if the style of my writing has changed (it's been a good few months since I uploaded chapter 1) and the same goes for any minor details. I honestly couldn't remember how old Itachi and Sasuke were supposed to be in this story or if I had bent the age gap to fit my needs or not so I just rolled with it. Hope you enjoy!**

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"Ooh! We're gonna play cops and robbers!?" Naruto asked when he saw Sasuke's aluminum foil officer's badge pinned to his shirt.

"Sorta." Sasuke said.

"Who're we arresting?" Naruto asked, weaving between Mikoto's legs and the doorframe so that he could follow Sasuke into the house where excitement surely awaited him.

Kushina chuckled. "I'm sorry about that. You know how he gets when he's excited."

"I know." Mikoto smiled as she watched the boys disappear into the living room behind her shoulder.

"Thank you for watching him Mikoto. This toothache is killing me and I just can't take it any longer. And this afternoon was the only time I could schedule an appointment, but Minato can't take off because he has that meeting with the council today, and can you see Naruto in the dentists' office with me while I'm getting my cavities filled?" Kushina laughed and promptly put a hand to her jaw. "Ow…he'd bring down the whole place!" She chuckled.

Mikoto placed a comforting hand on her best friend's shoulder. "I know Kushina, I know. And it's no problem. Sasuke loves it when he has somebody to play with."

"I saw the police badge. What's Itachi in trouble for now?"

"Neglecting to play with Sasuke yesterday afternoon." Mikoto answered.

"Awww that is precious!" Kushina cooed and looked at her wristwatch. "Oh my! I gotta get going or else this bad boy's gonna have to wait for God knows how much longer!" She laughed. "Ow!"

"Yeah, you wouldn't want to put that off any longer or else you won't be able to eat any of my delicious sweets for another month!" Mikoto called after her.

Kushina groaned as she got into her mini-van. "Don't remind me! I'll be back for him around dinner time okay?"

"Sounds good! Good luck at the dentist!"

"Thanks!" Kushina replied and backed out of their drivel as quickly as she usually did while Mikoto stood by the doorway shaking her head.

-8-8-8-

"Whaddya mean I'm the lawyer? I thought we were playing cops and robbers!" Naruto complained.

"I already told you – you're the lawyer and I'm the cop. I've already arrested the suspect and he's patiently awaiting his trial!" Sasuke explained for the bajillionth time.

"Well then he's guilty and I say we let him rot for the rest of eternity!" Naruto proclaimed.

Itachi's eyes widened. He'd been hoping that once a verdict was reached, he'd be able to walk freely upstairs to his bedroom and go back to sleep but now he was having second thoughts. If he was sentenced to life in prison – or the living room – what did that mean for him? Would he still be able to take a nap at least?

"Naruto!" Sasuke groaned. "You're the prostituter; it's your job to defend the client, not convict him!"

"I think you mean 'prosecutor,' Sasuke, not 'prostituter.'" Itachi corrected before remembering that he was to remain silent.

"I already told you that you have the right to remain silence! And this is a private matter so if you'll excuse us please!" Sasuke spat and tugged Naruto into the other room. "You're Itachi's prostituter, okay? And if it makes you feel any better, I'm going to be a lawyer too."

"So we don't get to shoot anyone?" Naruto whined.

"No! I already arrested him!"

"Can we arrest him again? Please? I wanna arrest somebody!" Naruto whined.

Sasuke sighed. "You can't arrest anybody because I already arrested him and lawyers don't arrest people!"

In the distance, the front door opened. "Good afternoon, Shisui!" Mikoto called from the kitchen where she was cleaning up from lunch.

"But I wanna arrest—hmpf!?" Naruto attempted to say when Sasuke placed his hand over Naruto's mouth so that they could listen to the conversation between Mikoto and Itachi's friend.

"'Afternoon Mrs. U!" Shisui called back. "Is Itachi home?"

"Yeah, he's in the living room awaiting his court date."

"I always knew that crook would get what was coming to him!" Shisui grinned and jogged down the hallway to the living room. "Heard you're awaiting your trial." Itachi nodded. "Right to remain silent?" Itachi nodded again. "Got a lawyer?" This time, Itachi shook his head. "I see."

Just then, Sasuke and Naruto appeared from around the corner. "Hey! You're not a lawyer so you're not allowed to talk to him right now!" Sasuke yelled.

"I don't wanna play this game!" Naruto whined. "I wanna arrest somebody!"

"Sorry kid, but you're a little late to the party." Shisui winked and stood up straight. "I, Shisui Uchiha, nominate myself as this scum bag's lawyer!"

"Scum bag?" Itachi thought aloud.

"I told you a gazillion times to remain silent!" Sasuke yelled with an accusatory finger pointed at his older brother. "And you don't have the koalafications to be his lawyer!"

"Ooh! Ooh!" Naruto bounced with his hand raised in the air. "Since Shisui wants to be Itachi's lawyer, can I be a cop now?"

"Shisui's not going to be Itachi's lawyer because he's under arrest!" Sasuke declared and turned to Naruto. "Officer Uzumaki, cuff this low-life."

"Yes sir!" Naruto saluted. "Do you have another pair of hand cuffs?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Use pretend handcuffs."

"Okay!" Naruto agreed.

"Sorry kid, you're on your own." Shisui said to Itachi and bolted past Naruto who was fiddling with the imaginary handcuffs.

"We've got a runner!" Sasuke yelled. "After him!"

 _It was the police chase of the summer. Shisui Uchiha, a young Caucasian male in his early teens, ran past both Officer Naruto and Officer Sasuke who promptly chased him down the hallway, past the judge's chambers and out into the front yard. Shisui ran towards the street in search of a getaway vehicle and when none were to be found (and Shisui didn't have his driver's license yet so even if there was a car for him to get away in, he couldn't drive it yet), so he made a run for the back yard, evading his pursuers for all of three minutes as he ran around the perimeter of the court house/police department. After several rounds around the house, Officer Sasuke and Officer Naruto had not yet given up and valiantly chased after the criminal when he tripped on tree root and fell to the ground. Officer Naruto quickly detained him with a pair of imaginary handcuffs while Officer Sasuke read him his rights. Shisui is now being taken in to await trial alongside his accomplice in crime, Itachi Uchiha._ Mikoto texted to Kushina.

 _Wow! It sounds like they're having fun! I'm glad that they're enjoying themselves!_ Kushina quickly replied back.

"Have a seat next to Mr. Uchiha here." Sasuke instructed. "Shisui Uchiha, you said that you did not have a lawyer so the state has given you one. Naruto Uzumaki will be your lawyer as well as your lawyer Itachi."

"Wait, I don't think he's allowed to be represent two people at the same time. Can't my court date be moved to a day when you're in school for example so I don't have to go." Shisui attempted to sweet talk Sasuke.

"If we're in school, you can't be convicted so it hasta be today. Sorry." Sasuke explained.

"Well it was worth a try."

"And I already told you that you had the right to remain silent!" He scolded Shisui.

"Sorry." Shisui apologized.

Sasuke regarded them both with stern looks before quickly disappearing into the other room. He returned back to the "court room" a few moments later and stood tall before both Itachi and Shisui. "All rise for the Honorable Judge Mikoto Uchiha."

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 **Oh my~ things just got heated up now that the Honorable Judge Mikoto Uchiha is in the housseeeeeee!**

 **A word of warning: Just because I randomly updated this thing tonight does not mean I'll update chapter three tomorrow, Wednesday, or this week even. I'm really, really busy right now (I know, if I was as busy as I say I am, I wouldn't have cranked out this chapter, but stay with me on this) Perhaps after getting a few reviews and if I come across some free time I'll work on the next chapter - The Trial~**

 **Until next time!**

 **~Sasori33-001**

 **PS: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews I received for chapter one! I appreciate you all!**


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